My Living Hell in Guantanamo Bay

2008-09-16T13:30:00.000-07:00

This is the new name I have given my gym. I could have used Abu Grahib but this one is better. The Mark-inator is my personal trainer. He has abs of steal, exactly like his cold hard heart! When I couldn't do one single push up he hooked me up to machines and counted me until I got charlie horses in both arms. If you find yourself feeling sorry for poor John McCain who hung by his arms in a prisoner of war camp in Vietnam, know this..........it was NOTHING compared to what I had to put myself through today, and I actually paid a guy $40.00 per 1/2 hour of sheer torture for it.

I could barely steer my way home. I could barely hold my cell phone to my ear. I could barely lift my big gulp to my mouth and oh yes, by the way I get 0-1 of them per day on my eat-hardley-at-all diet, a diet in which you can't eat anything white but cauliflower. I have birthed a 10 pound baby (natural) and it pales in comparison to the workout I did today.

So here is the regimen: 50 situps, 40 bicep lifts with 8 pound weights, upside down pushups using a bar, 36, then for dessert 20 minutes on the bike. The highlight of my day so far is taking the 500 miligrams of Tylenol and enjoying one of my 6 required 8 oz glasses of water. Jealous yet? You too can have this much fun for $1400.00, or do your time at a POW camp, which is what I will sign up for next time.

Love you all. If I die, none of you get the Carolers. I am leaving them to Tommie Peel.

Have a good one.

Shel

Shellie's Doings

My Living Hell in Guantanamo Bay